I'm not going to pretend I know the unique constellation of your pain.

But I can speak to some truths that I do know:

These are dark times. 

Anxious times. 

Sad times. 

Uncertain times. 

Painful times.

Strange times. 

The gloves. 

The masks. 

People avoiding you on the street. 

The kids aren't in school. 

Everything is closed. 

You're not supposed to do anything but stay home. 

My 96 year old grandfather can't even leave his room at his assisted living facility. 

And if you do anything that someone else thinks you shouldn't (which, the rules seem to be changing by the moment), be prepared for a tsunami of social shaming. 

Oh, and don't forget you're supposed to be taking this opportunity to level up. 

As I walk around, whether outside or in my house I keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare. 

For me, the masks are completely unnerving. They remove access to our ancient mammalian social safety notification: the smile. Plus, as a woman, when someone tells me I "have to cover up," I feel transported in time and place to the streets of Afghanistan during the rule of the Taliban. Or to my high school youth group where we had to "always be modest so we didn't tempt the boys."  The mask is a particular sticking point for me because it feels like body control. The powerful men telling me what to do with my body. 

My mask complaint is a bit of a tangent, but it shows how when we have a *big* reaction to anything, it is usually a portal to the uniqueness of our pain body: for me, being raised in fundamentalist religion makes the mask requirement *really* challenging to honor. It makes me angry and brings out my inner rebel. 

Make no mistake: this situation is traumatic all on its own. 

But how intensely this affects you is directly related to how much other unresolved pain you have.

When I was in grad school we did a class on grieving traditions in our culture: America has none and it shows. 

Wearing all black is "emo." Wailing or keening is "out of control. " 

We just suck at feelings in general. 

My only piece of “advice” is this: try to open your heart to whatever it is that you are feeling. And then try to open your heart to what those around you are feeling.

Feel it. 

Feel it.

Feel it.