https://brookebergman.memberspace.com/content/f66793fdfa1

Theodore Roosevelt has said that "comparison is the thief of joy." The moment I begin comparing any part of my body or life to someone else's, I am either setting myself above or below them, and I am not connecting with the human being in front of me--which is the source of my joy. 

All kinds of things get in the way of connection--and shame is one of the emotional culprits more often than not. Shame is the excruciating feeling of "not belonging". Wondering if I "belong" is precisely when I begin the comparison game. Another word for belonging is love--and the fear that I won't be loved sets me up for jealousy towards those I perceive to have the qualities that I believe will ensure love and belonging. The problem is that the things we think will get us love, only results in superficial admiration--which--although nice, is not to be confused with the richness of being loved. 

It is so easy to confuse admiration with love. I may be admired by many, but not know love.  if I struggle to know Love--then it is human impulse to look for love substitutes--and admiration is a seductive substitute (this seduction is why we become obsessed with celebrities and buy their products). 

Here is the Truth, beauties: if you are to know Love--the kind that nourishes your Soul and leaves you satisfied, you have to embrace the uniqueness of who you are. If you want Love, then you have to allow yourself to be seen. In order to be seen, you have to show your truest Self--not the false self that attempts to be like someone else. The construction of the false self begins with comparison and ends with an elaborate (but often fragile) veneer. 

If I know Love, and am always connected to Love, then the destructive impulse to compare fades away.  So, the conclusion is this: stop comparing because you will never find the essence of your truest Self in desiring to be like anyone else. If you pursue this path, and become admired for being like anyone else, your Soul will plague you with a gnawing emptiness.

Find your truth.

Pursue it relentlessly.

Then show it to others.

Then you will know Love and be satisfied. 

Courage to you.

-Brooke